The Toon Patrol's Uninvited Guest
by lovesickelectric
Summary: They're feared by toons for a reason and this toon is about to find out why
1. Chapter 1

It was a normal day in Toontown but that's just it, its never normal here! It's always zany and crazy and happy and I was getting quite bored of it. I decided to take a walk however this time I decided to walk down a path that wasn't new to me but hey you know what they say about the road less traveled. It was a bit different from my usual route but not much just less faces on objects. While looking around at this new scenery I managed to bump into someone and we both fell.

"Watch where your going toots!" The toon snapped as he got up.

"Sorry" I apologized looking up at him. He was a toon alright, a weasel to be exact, just like me. However his look set him apart from others. He had a pink jacket with a jewel on his tie not to mention a gold chain that led to his pocket along with a pink hat and white spats. He had his own take on the gangster look and he pulled it off rather well he looked like the 'In Charge' type.

"Yeah, well next time you won't be so lucky" He remarked getting up and straightening himself out.

"Was that supposed to be a threat?" I snapped still on the floor.

He snarled at me, something tells me I should have kept my thoughts to myself. I usually get in trouble this way.

"Do you know who your messin' with?" He spat

"No, but I'm guessing it's a weasel wearing pink, yeah I'm petrified" I commented sarcasm dripping from my lips.

He pinned me down; he was about the same size as me but much stronger.

"You want to repeat that?" He remarked

"Get off of me you stupid rodent!" I yelled as I kicked him off giving me a chance to run but not for long. He grabbed my ankle causing me to fall facedown. He flipped me over and pinned me down. He had an evil grin spread across his face.

"So you like to play rough do ya?" He asked

I caught a glimpse of something from his pocket; it turned out to be a badge…a police badge. Crap. I had got myself involved with the law...great. He followed my eyes and smirked.

"Yep, every heard of the 'toon patrol' and your looking at the leader, toots" He added.

"Now" He began "If you behave like a good little girl maybe we won't hurt you too much but if you don't" He took out his switchblade and opened it in front of me. I flinched at the clicking sound. He smiled at my fear.

"Let's go" He said getting up but keeping a firm grip on my wrist. He pulled me up rather hard. I tried to wiggle my way out of it but he slammed me into the wall.

"Eh, eh" He said twisting my arm with one hand and placing the other on my waist.

'Perv' I thought.

Once he placed both hands on my wrist, he practically dragged me to this warehouse which wasn't too far away.

"Acme Warehouse" It read in neon lights.

"C'mon I want to introduce you" He said followed by an evil snicker.

'Oh great there's more of them, yay' I thought


	2. Chapter 2

"Lookey what I found boys!" He announced as he pushed me to the floor. The others laughed at this.

There were four others, great. One walked over to me and tilted my chin up so that he could see me; I pulled away from him.

"Feisty are we?" He grinned. He had a Spanish accent, with dark brown hair and a green zootsuit and a green fedora. "I like it" He added

"Ugh" I muttered

Suddenly cigarettes filled the air; I looked up to see a smokey blue colored weasel dragging on three cigarettes at once. He blew smoke rings into my face sending me into a coughing fit as I fanned the smoke out.

"Why don't we sit her down" Pinky said. Mr. Zootsuit picked me up by the waist I tried to wiggle out of it but he tightened his grip.

"Let go of me!" I yelled

I was putting up quite a fight until the others got involved…cheater! What? One guy can't handle one girl; does he need his buddies to help? Anyways, they sort of pinned me down…again, face down this time. I could tell the leader was holding me down.

"Rope, get me some rope!" He commanded. I could feel my hands being tied together and for the final touch, tape to shut my mouth, at least I couldn't get myself into any more trouble than I already was. I was given the privilege of standing myself up, oh what gentlemen.

"Now was that so hard?" The pink one asked me. I gave him a dirty look and then he pushed me onto a couch of theirs which was actually comfy.

I noticed this other one; his swirling eyes caught my attention right away. He had on a straight jacket with spiky hair. There was heavy one next to him, blue striped shirt that exposed his tummy, untie shoes and a propeller on his beanie

"Let's see how good this tape is" Pink commented. Then the blue stepped in front of me and sort of gave an evil grin, he took out one of his cigarettes and pushed it down on to my neck. I screamed in agony muttering muffled curses from the burn.

"Now are ya gonna caoperate?" Pinky asked with his malapropisms.

I nodded my head; my eyes were turning red from the smoke

"That's a good girl" He said, Zooty handed him something that looked like a washcloth.

"Now don't worry" He said placing one hand behind my head and holding the cloth with the other. "This won't hurt a bit" He added. And with that he put the cloth to my lips with chloroform on it, everything went blurry, I could hear them laughing.

I was awakened by a loud racket. It wasn't so much the object that fell but the high pitched laugh that sent a chill down my spine.

"Psy! Pick that up!" I could hear the pink one yell.

I looked around for an exit, nothing but this time I wasn't tied down; there wasn't any tape on my mouth, my clothes were still on; so far so good. I was on the same couch and I was all alone. I got up quietly having no idea what to do next. I followed their voices and pinned myself to the wall.

"Duh boss what are we gonna do with that girl?" Beanie asked

"I've never seen one like her before, you know with the hair color" Green one commented. It was true my hair was blonde with blue highlights and not many weasels can pull that off.

"Yeah what else are we going to do? Are we going to dip her or keep her, torture her?" The blue one asked. "Yeah boss" The accented one added "I think she would make a great edition to our team!" He added. I rolled my eyes. 'Just kill me now' I thought.

"Well there's not much we could do, I mean we've already cut most of her hair" Pinky began. I let out a shriek at his statement and touched my head noticing that my hair was still there. Great, I'm in trouble.

"C'mon I know it's you" He called

"Your shadow gave it away" He added I covered my mouth, as if that would erase what I had just done.

"Come here, we won't hurt ya" He said as they giggled; now I know they're up to something.

'If he thinks that I am coming in, he is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!' I thought

"If you don't we'll come and getcha" He said

"Ow I like the chasing" The green one said

'I bet you do' I thought

"We won't go easy on ya though" The pink one said. "I'm counting to three" He said and they giggled at him. I could tell he was enjoying this, they all were.

'What's he gonna do, put me in time out?' I thought.

"One" He began "Two…" I creped in; all eyes were on me. I just stood there for a bit until they offered me a seat which happened to be next to green and pink. Joyous me, oh what happiness I am feeling.

"You got a name?" Pinky asked

"Its Lola Tilly, you can call me either." I said crossing my arms.

"Lola Tilly, sounds like a toony name don't it?" The pink one asked

"Well I am a toon" I remarked

"The names Smartass" He said

"I'm Greasy" He said taking my hand and kissing it.

"Yick" I let out pulling my hand away.

"Wheezy" The blue one said.

"This is stupid" He said pointing to beanie boy "And that one is Psycho" He said pointing to the straight jacket one.

"Hi" Psycho waved then he covered his face with his sleeves. 'Aww' I thought

"So Lola" Smartass said getting up and walked behind my chair. "Here's the deal toots, we won't dip ya" He commented resting his hands on my shoulders "If you do what we say, got it?" He asked I nodded.

"Good girl" He said "And don't even try running away" He added

"Why? I'll be out of your hands" I remarked with a grin.

"Cute, she's got jokes I like her" Wheezy commented

"Don't think we'll go easy on ya kid" He said opening his switchblade in front of me causing me to flinch. He snickered "I'll be right back" He said placing his blade back in his pocket and left.

Greasy immediately wrapped his arms around me; the others raised their eyebrows at him.

"What? It's so she doesn't escape" He defended

"Sure it is" Wheezy commented sarcastically

"Dude, I was whooping your butt before your friends came and helped you" I said before covering my mouth up, he growled at my response.

The others burst out laughing.

"Stop that laughing!" Smartass called

"Kill joy" I commented

"Bring her up" He added

"Come on Chiquita" Greasy said putting his hands around my waist.

"Don't even start!" I warned as I took his hands off me.

"What's going on down there?" Smartass yelled leaning over the railing

"She hit me!" Greasy called

"I did not…yet" I stated

"I'm on the floor unable to get up; I think I broke something, ow! It hurts! Oh the pain!" Greasy whined.

"Some weasel you are, you just got beaten up by a girl" I commented, they snickered at this. Some how he twirled me around and I was secure in his arms. Thankfully Smartass broke it up who knows what would have happened next.

"Could ya keep your paws off of a girl at all?" Smartass stated as he untangled me.

"C'mon I'll show to your room" He said escorting me.

It was like a normal room, it had a bed, drawers, bathroom and all that jazz.

"Enjoy your stay" He commented

"Just don't kiss me goodnight" I stated

"Don't worry I won't" He replied

"I will!" Greasy called

"Shut up!" Smartass yelled before closing my doors.


	3. Chapter 3

There was no way I was staying here, I had to get out; luckily I had a window. I peeked out however I couldn't see anything but I took my chance. Once I opened the window it made a squeak. I checked to make sure no one was coming then I quietly crawled out of the window and closed it behind me. I stealthily moved across the roof, it was easy at first until I looked down. There stood Smartass, Greasy, and Wheezy below smoking, I knew I smelled something. This made my journey even more difficult. They were talking about something and I had a feeling it was about me so I tried to get a better look. My nosiness got the better of me.

"So that was some thing you pulled on her Greasy" Wheezy commented

"Oh she liked it" He smirked

"Yeah right, don't flatter yourself" I muttered

"So what are we gonna do with her boss" Greasy asked

Smartass gave him a signal to come closer.

I would grip onto the sign, slide down every letter until I was closer to the ground or I would hop off the sign and onto something else like a pole and slide down.

I tried to grab onto the sign without loosing my balance but I didn't lunge close enough; I slid off the roof screaming. They all looked up and moved out of the way giving me room.

'OHWHATGENTLEMEN!' I thought before I hit the ground. I fell flat on my back right in front of them; one of the benefits of being a toon. Smartass and Wheezy inhaled their smokes before looking at me as if this was a usual thing. Greasy jumped into Wheezy's arms Scooby-doo style. He then looked at me then the sky and jumped off and went on his knees. "Thank you" He said looking up at the sky.

"You just couldn't help yourself could ya?" Smartass commented with a grin as he squatted down.

"She needs C.P.R.!" Greasy announced, taking my head with both hands.

"Greasy!" Smartass yelled pulling him away.

"'Sides that's not how you treat a dame" He said as he took out his cigarette and poked me with the lighted end. I sprung up; I still wasn't used to the one I was given earlier. Such gentlemen these weasels were.

"Yeah keep treating dames like that and you'll never have one" I commented I was in no position to talk though but like I said my mouth usually gets me into trouble.

"Looks like we'll have to be a little more hard on you" Smartass remarked

"Sí she should sleep…I meant stay with me" Greasy interrupted giving me a seductive grin.

"I warned you not to escape" Smartass said taking out his blade.

"Greasy get the cloth!" He demanded

"Right boss" He said running into the house.

I backed away from him which wasn't such a good idea because I backed up right into the wall. Smartass placed one hand on my shoulder and the other holding the blade to my face. He smiled at my fear as he caressed my check with his blade.

"Wheezy tell Greasy to hurry it up" He said

"Sure thing boss" Wheezy said walking through the door.

"And now we're alone, for now" Smartass said.

He started to move the knife down my sides mostly, I froze in shock. The cold cover of the knife sent shivers down my spine as it traced my outline.

I tried to push his hands off of me but to no use.

"Eh, eh" He warned as he continued.

His eyes met up with mine, he had lust in his with a grin forming. The knife left little scraps as a trail wherever it went. He wrapped his free arm around my waist.

'Just dip me please!' I thought

The door opened.

"Boss I…" Greasy started. "Awh but that's my job" He pouted. Wheezy took the cloth out of his hands and handed it to Smartass.

Smartass turned back to me and smiled.

"Sweet Dreams" He said.

"No!" I screamed but it was too late, the cloth had come into contact with my lips. I felt weak and I blanked out.


End file.
